epitaphs

Here lies Fred

a rock fell on his head

I told you I was sick!

Roses are red

violets are blue

the ghost of my body

is watching you

Here lies the body of Mortimer Gissing

his famous last words:

I hear something hissing!

Here lies Henry Blake

stepped on the gas instead of the brake

Here lies Uncle Dave

chased a bear into a cave

Here lies Homer Pyle

shouldn't have swam with that crocodile

I Emma Spook

Here lies Cousin Huet

we all know you didn't do it

I'm watching and waiting for you

Tomb Sweet Tomb

My body and bones are buried down here,

but I'll come to haunt you year after year

Resting in pieces

I got the idea of adding funny epitaphs to my tombstones from the Haunted Mansion at Disney World. Most of these came from other web sites. People really enjoy standing around reading them.

Here I lie

and no wonder I'm dead

for the wheel of a semi

went over my head

Here lies Max

loved his ax

stuck it into lots of backs

Here lies the body of Winifred Wespert

wrongly self-styled mushroom expert.

Here lies the body of Samuel Smith

what was that stuff he was fooling with?

Here lies the body of Fearsome Frank

who often bet he could rob a bank,

and bragged he had never lost a bet...yet.

Here lies the body of Wilfred White

his bulletproof vest wasn't quite.

Here lies the body of Kermit Smoot

he almost learned how to parachute

Here lies the body of Jeffrey Squattrum

in skin-diving class he came out at bottom

Buried underneath this sod

are the remains of Jack Surrod

Here should lie the body of Jason Green

last seen here on Halloween

Shirley Ewell Rottin Hale